By: Esperanza Chacón
In relationships with other people, a fascinating inner world unfolds, tinged by a wide range of perspectives, attitudes, interests and singularities. Accepting this reality when we relate closely with others is an adventure that deserves to be fully experienced, since it implies welcoming the other as he or she is.
What we know as “heart together” goes beyond the simple desire to be with someone or beautiful words. It is about unconditionally accepting the unique way each individual is, how they express and experience their emotions, feelings and thoughts.
How do we learn to listen to the wisdom of the heart?
Human beings exist not only because they think, but also because they love; therefore, it means that we link feeling to thought, feeling-thinking, integrating affectivity to reason. Although some researchers have explained from various approaches – anthropological, sociological and biological – that the human being is not only reason, but also affection, caress and tenderness, since we are mammals and come from a mother. It requires, therefore, a holistic understanding of the human.
Authentic wisdom and self-knowledge do not refer to school, but are found, cultivated and flourish in life itself. Therefore, the essential thing is to find opportunities for personal experience, to recreate the place to which one wants to belong and, in this way, not to be disoriented in life. “Not only to know the world, but to intuit the paths to be taken in order to be better” (Old Antonio 2000).
Although we want with impetus to build knowledge based on feeling and thinking, to act with coherence in order to understand and feel the wisdom of the heart, sometimes defensive attitudes arise that can manifest themselves abruptly, generating the feeling that we are being attacked or that we do not know how to give or receive love. This can trigger uncertainty, fear and distrust, putting our essence and our integrity at risk.
So what allows us to open up in a relationship with another person? When do we allow others to touch our hearts and when do we avoid it?
It is evident that “love for oneself”, which I consider to be – a loving of oneself – and pride are two very different perceptions and expressions. Loving oneself is essential, for before we can give love to others, we must love ourselves.
What is commonly known as self-love is not selfish, but rather fosters trust and mutual respect, allowing us to sincerely connect with our hearts with humility and honesty.
Love for itself is a vital and, at the same time, creative force. It helps us to take responsibility for our own life as a priority, which then allows us to open up to others. This type of love trusts life and its processes, does not fear uncertainty and does not seek absolute truth, since it recognizes that life is a constant process of learning and transformation.
On the other hand, pride is a defense of the ego that, paradoxically, obscures and hinders the sincere flow of emotions. Pride does not allow for deep listening, as the ego prevents it and manifests itself as arrogance, .
At this point, we can identify two antagonistic realities coexisting: the ego and the essence of being. How do we live with both? Do we allow ourselves to be trapped by the ego or do we allow our essence to prevail?
Every relationship and every interaction gives us new opportunities to explore the simplicity of uncertainty and dare to walk the path of love without conditions. In this dance of souls, in the swaying of encounters, a nuanced and beautiful universe of diverse looks and dreams is revealed. Accepting others as they are gives us the purest essence of human connection.
Let us remember the importance of loving ourselves and opening ourselves to others with understanding and acceptance. In every day, in every moment, in the pulse of life, let us keep in mind the choice of the path of love, without conditions, without judgment, but with clear limits that preserve the essence of being.
Esperanza Chacón San Mateo, Costa Rica
